Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Barack Obama's victory speech 11/4/2008

Full transcript from CNN.

  • Autosummarized to 25% of original
  • Summary: 516 words in 26 sentences
  • Original document: 2, 039 words in 108 sentences
Hello, Chicago.
If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen, by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different, that their voices could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled. Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of red states and blue states.

We are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment change has come to America.

Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this campaign. And he's fought even longer and harder for the country that he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine. I miss them tonight. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington. It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give $5 and $10 and $20 to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.

It drew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers, and from the millions of Americans who volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later a government of the people, by the people, and for the people has not perished from the Earth.

The road ahead will be long. I promise you, we as a people will get there.

This victory alone is not the change we seek. Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

What we've already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. America, we have come so far. So tonight, let us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see?

Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.

Autosummarized to 10% of the original:
If there is anyone out there who still doubts
that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the
dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our
democracy, tonight is your answer.


We are, and always will be, the United States
of America.


It's been a long time coming, but tonight,
because of what we did on this date in this election at this defining moment
change has come to America.


Sen. McCain fought long and hard in this
campaign. I miss them tonight. It grew strength from the young people who
rejected the myth of their generation's apathy who left their homes and their
families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep.


I promise you, we as a people will get there.

America, we have come so far. So tonight, let
us ask ourselves -- if our children should live to see the next century; if my
daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change
will they see?


Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless
the United States of America.

John McCain's concession speech 11/4/2008

Full transcript from CNN.

  • Autosummarized to 25% of original
  • Summary: 313 words in 21 sentences
  • Original document: 1,179 words in 62 sentences

Thank you. Thank you, my friends. The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly.

A little while ago, I had the honor of calling Sen. Barack Obama to congratulate him.

To congratulate him on being elected the next president of the country that we both love.

Sen. Obama believes that, too.

Sen. Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country. No doubt many of those differences remain.

These are difficult times for our country. Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. It's natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment. You know, campaigns are often harder on a candidate's family than on the candidate, and that's been true in this campaign.

We can all look forward with great interest to her future service to Alaska, the Republican Party and our country.

To all my campaign comrades, from Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter, to every last volunteer who fought so hard and valiantly, month after month, in what at times seemed to be the most challenged campaign in modern times, thank you so much. A lost election will never mean more to me than the privilege of your faith and friendship.

This campaign was and will remain the great honor of my life, and my heart is filled with nothing but gratitude for the experience and to the American people for giving me a fair hearing before deciding that Sen. Obama and my old friend Sen. Joe Biden should have the honor of leading us for the next four years.

Tonight -- tonight, more than any night, I hold in my heart nothing but love for this country and for all its citizens, whether they supported me or Sen. Obama -- whether they supported me or Sen. Obama.

Americans never quit. We never surrender.

We never hide from history.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless America.


Autosummarized to 10% of the original:

Thank you. Thank you, my friends. The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly.

Sen. Obama believes that, too. Sen. Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country.

Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans. You know, campaigns are often harder on a candidate's family than on the candidate, and that's been true in this campaign.

Tonight -- tonight, more than any night, I hold in my heart nothing but love for this country and for all its citizens, whether they supported me or Sen. Obama -- whether they supported me or Sen. Obama.

Americans never quit. We never surrender.

We never hide from history.

Thank you, and God bless you, and God bless America.

Monday, October 27, 2008

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

From the Project Gutenberg EBook.
  • Percent of original: 1%
  • Summary: 651 words in 154 sentences
  • Original Document: 64.613 words in 6,760 sentences.



great-great-grandfather read it to his family, he turned up the
little volumes. My father's little library consisted chiefly of books in
old. In a little time I made great proficiency in the business, and became a
some little pieces; my brother, thinking it might turn to account,
little for dispute's sake. paper. time to practise it.

buying books. by myself with great ease. persuade men into measures that I have been from time to time engag'd
For, if you would
If you wish
"Men should be taught as if you taught them not,
under the door of the printing-house. whole life.

My friend Collins,
Philadelphia.

account. of being thought to have but little.

Philadelphia.

Keimer's printing-house, I found, consisted of an old shatter'd press,
ingenious young man, of excellent character, much respected in the
The governor
him at his printing-house. man's estate. business. best men in the world.

I balanc'd some time between
I had a great
sensible young man, of great integrity; the others rather more lax in
When the time of our meeting
little laught at.

future time was still named. printed a small number. greater printing-house. London.

expected in having a man lodge in the house. times of Charles the Second. working at our business. seem'd to have a great deal of business.

little time, expert at selling. printing-house, continu'd the quarrel, high words pass'd on both sides,
"My time," says he, "will
at the other printing-house. time before. province. friend or two for company. was a little neglected. little knavish withal.

my life. Though purblind man
printing-house. conversation.

surveyor-general.

sensible man.

business to us. shop business.

follow'd the business.

books, etc. printing-house. In the mean time,
sell his printing house to satisfy his creditors. printing-house with him. glazier's business, tho' he worked little, being always absorbed in his
In the mean time, that
company. to pay. "Some time since there fell into my hands, to my great joy, about
Life is
public friend's journals. minds. man's private power, will be invaluable! man. human life?

nature, virtue, thought and habit. thinking well of England. men. dearest sir, etc., etc.,

little fund we began. notes to pay double the value if not duly returned. provinces. countries.

project. the public assemblies. your business have its time.

Justice, etc., etc. virtues. 9 } Work.
10 }
11 }

3 } Work.
4 }
5 }

The man came every
I did, indeed, from time to time, put
right.

little paper, accidentally preserv'd, viz.:

from time to time, on pieces of paper, such thoughts as occurr'd to me
one man of tolerable abilities may work great changes, and accomplish
great affairs among mankind, if he first forms a good plan, and,
business.

country. reading only. the printing business. time as they happened.

Assembly. great friends, and our friendship continued to his death. service.

provinces. mentioned. A young
candid to allow a little time for their appearing.

time to time He has been pleased to afford us farther light, and our
purpose. manner.

poor children. Assembly. business? a time well executed. the Assembly. was a great improvement. done in a little time. postmaster-general in England. The House approv'd the
projects. street. [13] My acts in Morris's time, military, etc.--[Marg. note.]

Governor Morris.

well receiv'd. waggon. of each waggon and team, or horse, at the time of contracting, if
time, as it shall be demanded. "Friends and Countrymen,

the king's money.

The king's business must
friend and well-wisher, B. FRANKLIN."


The general,
the people if they remonstrated. thought it?" pay. right if they suffered the governor to amend their money-bills. great effect.

I undertook this military business, tho' I
great despatch was made. etc. young woman. this time accepted. attended, and gave great satisfaction; and after some time he went
copy-money.

time) for fall goods! Returned! is so great a writer? General Shirley,
unacquainted with military business. the Assembly's.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Althouse town hall debate comments

See Althouse: Live-blogging the big "town hall" debate. I have not watched the debate nor have I read the Althouse post nor the comments attached. I'll get around later to reading the transcript.

I did copy the first 600 comments and autosummarize the. First, I pasted them into Notepad and then into MS Word. At this point it was 106 pages (Times New Roman, 12 pt). The MS Word stats had it at 17, 185 words in 2, 913 sentences. My first attempt to autosummarize -- at 1% -- only picked up the time stamps, so I deleted it. Went back, deleted all the blogger time stamps, deleted all "said..." text, and deleted all paragraph marks. This left a nice block of text only 14 pages in length.

New stats:
  • Autosummarized to 10%
  • Summary: 1, 587 words in 167 sentences
  • Original document: 15, 880 words in 1,136 sentences.

Thought it's doubtful because McCain/Obama are a lot more boring than Palin/Biden. Thought it's doubtful because McCain/Obama are a lot more boring than Palin/Biden.Maybe her kids will be sitting around the base of McCain's podium. what about Obama saying "oh, Ayers is just a neighbor." Lem I think McCain is going to do very well tonight. Lem Let's get Ann her 2000 hits. Thought it's doubtful because McCain/Obama are a lot more boring than Palin/Biden.No way. what about Obama saying "oh, Ayers is just a neighbor." Lem I much rather see Palin up there against Obama. Lem The key to 2000... More people tuned in to watch her than McCain/Messiah.People also stop to watch car accidents. Lem Would you rather Ann get 2000 and a McCain tie?Oooohhhh. Simon Lem "Would you rather Ann get 2000 and a McCain tie?"No McCain signs or bumperstickers at all. ElcubanitoKC Present! I am Tom Brokaw, your moderator for tonight's second Presidential debate between Senators John McCain and Barack Obama. Senator John McCain, interrupting: You
know what is not fair, son? I will make your name known, I will make your name known!Senator Barack Obama: John, I think America is seeing the real John McCain tonight.Senator John McCain: You're damn right they are. Have freaking faith. Cheers,Victoria Lem Is that Obama explayning Ayers just now? Lem Mac hit's Obama! Lem Obama goes on the stump AJ Lynch I went to a Congressional debate Sunday. Lem More stumping Lem Looking back Obama Mark Obama leads with covering up for his democrat buddies in Congress who blocked regulation and oversight. AJ Lynch Obama is already kicking his first question down the road. Host with the Most First answer to Obama:Blah, blah, blah. vbspurs Obama making a stump speech. McCain approaching the question-poser. McCain needs to [blah blah blah]Still astroturfing for the Obama campaign, eh madawaskan? vbspurs McCain makes a bad joke. Lem Sombody people could Trust... good answer Host with the Most McCain first answer: actual concrete things. Good attack at the fucking NBC-in-the-tank-for-Obama Lem Obama - Mee too me too Dody Jane Who will Obama choosse? Host with the Most Obama - rich people are bad. Dody Jane Naughty boys - they went over Host with the Most Brokaw: Senator Obama - thank you very m much (implied "fuck you" to McCain) vbspurs Who will Obama choosse? Dody Jane YeS!!!!! Fannie ! FANNIE! FANNIE! Dody Jane Obama smirks. vbspurs Dody Jane
wrote:FANNIE! Obama is responsible for this country’s economic problems.Obam fucked this country. vbspurs LOL, Chip. vbspurs I WROTE! Mark Obama is avoiding the Freddie/Fannie problem re: Barney Frank. Host with the Most Obama is lying!!!!!Palladian "FANNIE! vbspurs Obama, please. Lem Obama just got hammered by Tomhis is off balance! vbspurs Wait, what, Tom Brokaw is asking questions? Dody Jane OOOO - He forgot to sign the letter vbspurs Obama doing his jutting jaw routine. Host with the Most Obama lied about the letters!!!!!!!! !!!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!VariableSpin
Obama just shovels it out. Obama feels her pain.Wow, is he ever understanding. Obama.. Patented answer from Obama "Look" little lady.Obama says "remember a bit of history just not Bill Ayers's history". Lem McCain want's to win on the merits. vbspurs OMG. AJ Lynch Obama will reduce the cost of college and health insurance. Lem McCain needs to get mad! :) vbspurs Simon, LOL. Host with the Most Obama: We have to fix health care. It's unclear if Obama really has any answers for these people either. Dan McCain's started out way too slow... what is it with Obama sending letters to people, warning them of problems... Let's get some questions answered! ElcubanitoKC nyet, 200! McCain told Brokaw he wouldn't pick him to save the world....McCain talking about Meg Whitman's E-Bay which just laid off 1,600 people...zzzzzzz ElcubanitoKC Oh, earmarks Host with the Most Obama - line by line - liar! Mark Did Obama just claim that gas is $3.80 nationally? ElcubanitoKC Palladian, I prefer Royal Tokaji. Michael Obama is winning. Lem Whenever Obama is talking I'm screaming no batter no batter! Michael The overhead projector Obama wanted???? Dody Jane No one is winning - people are going to bed or turning off - so that means Obama is winning. ElcubanitoKC 9-11?? vbspurs Obama brings up 9/11. Dody Jane Bush isn't running - someone tell Obama al Is Obama doing the Al Gore '*deep sigh*' thing? As if he will. Michael Dody Jane"Bush isn't running - someone tell Obama."McCain voted with Bush 90-95% of the time.If you don't think it's relevant, you're dreaming. vbspurs Tom Brokaw is drunk. Lem Obama has a bad haircut. vbspurs McCain is meandering away when Obama is talking. Michael Palladian - Blow me. Dody Jane GOD! ElcubanitoKC vbspursMcCain is meandering away when Obama is talking. GO
JOHN! Oh right Tom! Dody Jane TOM TAKES Over !!! Michael Obama is still winning.
Lem Entitlements are off the table with Obama! al Is Obama using the new question time to rebut the previous discussion? Lem What is Obama talking about? ElcubanitoKC He'll answer the question! Lem 300 vbspurs Can we vote for a Palin/Biden ticket?I'm serious. Lem Obama votes present! al "I'll answer the question Tom"McCain scores! vbspurs I miss Lehrer. Just part of the great new Obama health plan. JAL Do not forget Bridget McCain. Dody Jane I have been diverted by McCAin's little burst of energy!!! chickenlittle Obama's healthcare = rationing end of storyI hope there's an opt-outNuclear power: too cheap to meter Lem Obama annnnddd Host with the Most A black woman asks a question. Roll tape:0:00:00 Barack Obama lies with a straight face to the American people about the economy.0:02:00 John McCain changes the subject. Lem Obama's bunch of goverment scientist? vbspurs According to polls, at least 89% of that woman is already planning to vote for Obama.I've met two black guys who are voting for McCain/Palin. It's possible, if improbable. Lem Obama's talking points. vbspurs Obama needs to call Al Gore to explain the internet to him. ElcubanitoKC NO! The US govt if you asked Obama. vbspurs "Goodies""That one"OOOOOOOOOOOH. vbspurs Hey, is that Bewitched? VariableSpin Does Obama ever answer the question? Q: "Should health care be treated as a commodity?"Aww, John. vbspurs OMG, McCain just lost the election.Heart transplants. Michael Obama is still winning. Mofo dumbass question. ElcubanitoKC Trick question! muddimo Shorter debate:McCain: My friends, we need to work together.Obama: Senator McCain is right, but... Look at them... geez - Lem Is McCain offering Hillary care? Simon Michael "Obama is still winning."muddimo Obama is running out the clock and McCain is letting him get away with it. Lem Obama care sounds like Newt republican care. ElcubanitoKC elcubanitokcWhat?? al Did Obama just segway from health care to credit cards? knox I was just admiring Obama's elegant gestures with his long, thin handsI was just commenting that Barack has woman hands Lem Obama went to sleep! vbspurs Can't believe I am watching this debate. Lem Obama mentions 911 - that's OKBush and republicans mention 911 they get their nuts cut off a la Jessy Jackson. Jill And Obama lies about the Iraqi surplus...again. Simon Obama again reiterates the claim that McCain was wrong about Iraq and that Obama was right. Lem Obama Darfour Mcain darfive9:05 PM ElcubanitoKC A no-fly zone in Darfur?? vbspurs The McCain Doctrine is to followup the mess left behind by the Obama Doctrine. Simon Palladian - sorry, forgot. If it means he's cutting off Obama, fine by me. Dody Jane ..vbspurs Ruth Anne, hehe. Mark So Obama is calling for invading the Nuclear armed Pakistan? vbspurs AJ, good stuff. ElcubanitoKC Chaaaaarge!!! Lem Notice how Obama moved from Iraq to Pakistan!If things were not going well in Iraq - do you think Obama would be talking about making a move on Pakistan? ElcubanitoKC madawaskan, this is an Obama debate, nothing to do with reality. Palladian I would love it if Bill Ayers popped up to ask a question. Dody Jane They're ALIVE!!! Lem Obama kisses tom's -ss vbspurs Obama condenscending to Tom Brokaw, who is making with the yucks."AJ Lynch Paakistaan. Everytime he pronounces it that way Obama loses votes. vbspurs Pah-kees-stan. Now Ihhh-rawn.SPEAK AMERICAN OBAMA! vbspurs NICE! Lem McCain said his military
career! ElcubanitoKC Obama says McCain has called him "green behind the ears." knox Obama has such a weird smile when McCain's talking. I will be the only dictator!" vbspurs Petreaus will turn this around, Obama. I thought mold. Obama looks weird smiling strangely at McCain while he speaks. Dody Jane Obama is backing away from his "get out of Iraq now" policy. David Baker My friends, John McCain is brain dead. ElcubanitoKC vbspursFart Game! vbspurs LOL John.SHAKE! Lem Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, vbspurs Very true. Mark Obama just said we need to spend more money. vbspurs Is it too early to say that Republicans should kick John McCain's ass tomorrow? McCain just scored some points by answering the Putin / Russia question with savvy points. vbspurs LOOK AT THOSE PEOPLE. vbspurs Fuckstick.GASP! Obama's comment was extraordinary. AST Obama says McCain has called him "green behind the ears." Does Obama HAVE gills? AJ Lynch MCcain should answer he does not know Bill Ayers. McCain's only hope is to sneak up behind Obama when he's talking and give him a wedgie. al Did Obama ever say what he doesn't know? Ruth Anne Adams Shout out to Nana McCain! vbspurs McCain isbegging...

Monday, October 6, 2008

John Podheretz on Q&A

John Podhoretz, Editoral Director at Commentary Magazine. Interviewed by Brian Lamb for the C-Span show, Q&A, October 5, 2008.

This autosummary is adapted from the full
transcript. I removed all of Brian Lamb's questions to leave only the text of Podheretz's responses.


  • Autosummarized to 10%
  • Summary: 826 words in 39 sentences
  • Original document: 8,104 words in 316 sentences

”Commentary Magazine” was – is 62 years old. I mean there’s ”Commentary,” the
”Atlantic Monthly,” ”Harper’s,” and we have a – we have an extraordinarily
dedicated and committed audience and we’ve now expanded our brand, as people now
say, with a very lively Web site with a – with a very lively blog called the –
called Contentions. You know, small magazines move large mountains. I think if
you look at – if you look at the world overall from 1979 until his – until his
deposing in 2003, Saddam Hussein was the single most destabilizing force on the
planet Earth. That (INAUDIBLE) Iraq Freedom Act was passed by the House and
Senate, it was signed into law by a Democratic President, President Clinton.
When Bill Clinton talked about stopping Saddam Hussein before he would develop
really dangerous weapons in 1998, that was exactly the same rhetoric that was
used by George W. Bush in 2002 and early 2003. All conservative – all Jews who
are commentators who are on the right side of the discussion are asked by
curious Evangelical Jews and angry Conservative Jews why all Jews are liberal.
My personal short answer to that question is that – what is my personal short
answer? You tend to depersonalize people who disagree with you. You know they
live in their heads and they live and they don’t have much contact with people
with whom they disagree.

Chicago, the author of ”Closing of the American
Mind.” Your values are yours and my values are – who’s to say which values are
better than other values? Martin Sheen, the President, decides to appoint the
conservative and a liberal to sort of make a – make a deal.

You’d say
blah, blah, blah, and you’d say blah, blah, blah, and you’d say blah, blah, blah
– something like that.”

Someone I worked with at ”Insight,” which is a
magazine being published by the ”Washington Times,” sent my name in on a
postcard when they were having a contestant search in Washington. Oh, you know
here’s the interesting thing. The ”Standard” was my idea. I was then working as
the TV Critic for the ”New York Post.”

Have Bill talk to me. Well,
Rupert Murdoch is a conservative. He believes in the advocacy and expression of
conservative ideas and …

he also owns the ”New York Post,” where I was
working at the time. Rupert had occasionally had mild talks with the Korean
ownership of the ”Washington Times” in case they might want to sell it. Why did
he buy the ”Wall Street – because he likes to publish things, he likes to make
newspapers, he likes to make magazines. Right.

If the ideas that were
being expressed didn’t make sense, if the ideas that were being expressed didn’t
have purchase because of what was going on in the world and seem to be an answer
to them, you could spend $500 million and have every secret actor in the world
and they would get nowhere.

Yes, well, I started out not liking George
Walker Bush, and I – you know it’s interesting because I didn’t like him when a
lot of other people on the right liked him, and now I’m one of the few people
who, as an unalloyed supporter, I’m a defender of his. Right.

I’ve never
worked on a political campaign since I was 16 years old. I mean I worked on
campaigns as a kid. You know, I’ve never worked on campaigns, I don’t advise
people, I stand on the outside, I’ve no interest in being on the inside. Well, I
mean if – look, if the United States believes that it’s in the United States’
best interest to take out these nuclear facilities, which I do, then we need to
take them out if Israel is not going to take them out. McCain – Obama says he
wants that his overriding goal in Iraq, which is the major foreign policy and
military issue facing the United States, is the withdrawal of American forces.
McCain’s focus is victory. McCain, who is not – you know who is in no sense a
sort of radical unilateralist – he’s actually quite a conventional mainstream
Republican on foreign policy, nonetheless believes in the aggressive pursuit of
American interests.

And if you look at the world today, if you look at
the divisions between us and some of our European allies on an issue as critical
as Iran’s nuclear facilities, or if you look at the fact that it appears clear
that in Russia, Vladimir Putin has decided that he is an adversary of the United
States and wants to do things to impede us – to impede the United States and to
sort of work as a – as an antagonist towards the United States, the policy of
international consensus is a non-starter even before Obama would take office.

Giuliani was my favorite, oddly, by the way, because I think that McCain
ran the – ran the campaign that I thought Giuliani should run. Fifteen – small –
from small things come great …

In what sense?

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Book 02 Genesis

Original is from the Project Gutenberg Edition of the King James Bible. 64 more to go.

Autosummarized to 1%.


respect unto them.

unto you.

02:003:015 And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou say unto the
unto all generations.

LORD hath not appeared unto thee.

appeared unto thee.

two signs, neither hearken unto thy voice, that thou shalt
what thou shalt say.

Moses. 02:006:001 Then the LORD said unto Moses, Now shalt thou see what I will
thou unto Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say unto thee.

sacrifice unto the LORD.

LORD our God.

02:009:001 Then the LORD said unto Moses, Go in unto Pharaoh, and tell
not unto them; as the LORD had spoken unto Moses.

fear the LORD God.

the LORD.

face thou shalt die.

Israel.

children.

thou redeem.

that thou shalt say unto him, By
unto the LORD.

LORD, and his servant Moses.

LORD delivered them.

people? thou mayest bring the causes unto God:

the people unto the LORD.

unto the LORD.

02:019:010 And the LORD said unto Moses, Go unto the people, and sanctify
thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy
02:020:013 Thou shalt not kill.

02:020:014 Thou shalt not commit adultery.

02:020:015 Thou shalt not steal.

02:020:017 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not
people.

unto me.

02:023:015 Thou shalt keep the feast of unleavened bread: (thou shalt eat
LORD God.

snare unto thee.

02:024:001 And he said unto Moses, Come up unto the LORD, thou, and
the LORD.

pure gold shalt thou make them.

linen, shalt thou make it.

shalt thou make them.

the LORD:

the LORD.

offering unto the LORD.

thou consecrate them.

thee.

wood shalt thou make it.

LORD.

unto the LORD:

02:030:022 Moreover the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

the LORD's side? 02:033:005 For the LORD had said unto Moses, Say unto the children of
thee.

unto his friend. people.

02:034:017 Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.

Seven days thou
commanded Moses.

the LORD commanded Moses.

commanded Moses.

Moses.

the LORD commanded Moses.

LORD had commanded Moses.

commanded Moses.

Moses.

commanded Moses.

commanded Moses.

So Moses

Thursday, October 2, 2008

John McCain - presidential debate #1

Combined all of McCain 's responses and ran them through the autosummarizer. See Barack Obama's here. I used the transcript at CNN.

Autosummarized to 10%
Summary: 679 words in 102 sentences
Original: 6,812 words in 670 sentences

Senator Kennedy is in the hospital.
tonight.

package.

We've got fundamental
American worker. in the United States of
America. Washington. Great Society.

We Republicans came to power to
change government, and government changed
a gateway to out-of-control
spending and corruption.

As president of the United States, I want to
assure you, I've got a pen.
Now, Senator Obama, you wanted to know one of
the differences. Obama and I have.

Senator Obama suspended those
requests for pork-barrel projects after he was running for president of the
United States. Maybe to Senator Obama it's not a lot of money. corrupts people.

States Senate.

Now, Senator Obama didn't mention that, along
with his tax cuts, he is
Now, that's a fundamental difference between myself
and Senator Obama. I
want to cut spending. Well -- well, let me give you an
example of what Senator Obama finds objectionable, the business tax.

Right now, the United States of American business pays the
second-highest
business taxes in the world, 35 percent. I want to cut that
business tax. remain in -- in the United States of America and create jobs.

pork-barrel spending. friends. worth of pork-barrel spending projects.

So the point is, I want people to have tax cuts. own health care.
anybody, and a lot of people might be interested in Senator Obama's talking the
talk.

We had an energy bill before the United States Senate. I voted
against it; Senator Obama voted for it.

Who fought against wasteful and
earmark spending? who has tried to keep spending under control?

again,
Senator Obama has shifted on a number of occasions. in the United States Senate
to increase taxes on people who make as low
Look, we, no matter what, we've
got to cut spending. said, we've let government get completely out of control.

Senator Obama has the most liberal voting record in the United States
Senate. agency of government.

overruns under control.

government.

Senator Obama opposes both storing and reprocessing
of spent nuclear fuel. with President Clinton.

with Senator Obama's
health care plan. government. We have to obviously cut spending. spending.
Senator Obama has $800 billion in new spending programs. I today is because
spending got out of control. against excessive spending my entire career.
Washington.

United States Senate nor with the administration. president
on spending, on climate change, on torture of prisoner, on - on This strategy
requires strategy that has succeeded.

This strategy has succeeded. And
we are winning in Iraq. wider war, which the United States of America might have
had to come The next president of
the United States.

Senator Obama
said the surge could not work, said it would increase Senator Obama didn't go to
Iraq for 900 days and never

Senator Obama is the chairperson of a
committee that oversights NATO
I'm afraid Senator Obama doesn't understand
the difference between a tactic and a strategy. General Petraeus invited Senator
Senator Obama
Afghanistan by this great general. And Senator Obama, who
after promising
voting to cut off the funds for the troops in Iraq and
Afghanistan.

Admiral Mullen suggests that Senator Obama's plan is
dangerous for America.

by the way, Senator Obama's original plan, they
would have been out last has worked and can succeed. victory and adopt Senator
Obama's plan, then we will have a wider war and Afghanistan.

region.

We've got to get the support of the people of -- of Pakistan. If you
have to do
government.

I've been to Waziristan. condemned in Iraq.
It's a strategy
I -- I don't think that Senator Obama understands that there
was a failed
state in Pakistan when Musharraf came to power. state.

I supported --
defeat.

Senator Obama doesn't seem to
understand there is a connected between the two.

Senator Obama said that
would be provocative.

Now, Senator Obama said, without preconditions.

Well, I was interested in Senator Obama's reaction to the Russian
aggression against Georgia. Senator Obama still doesn't quite understand -- or
doesn't get it -- that if we fail in Iraq, it encourages al Qaeda. Reform,
prosperity, and peace, these are major challenges to the United States of
America.

Barack Obama - presidential debate #1

Combined all of Obama's responses and ran them through the autosummarizer. See John McCain's here. I used the transcript at CNN.

autosummarized to 10%
summary: 759 words in 101 sentences
original document: 7,553 words 719 sentences


country.

if the market -- and when the market returns.

place all
across the country.

It hasn't worked. taking place at the time.

we've got to solve this problem short term. to deal with these problems.
Well, I think Senator McCain's absolutely right that we need more economy are
sound. our tax policies, it's a classic example.

Well, Senator McCain is
absolutely right that the earmarks process has budget. Senator McCain is
proposing -- and this is a fundamental
I've called for is a tax cut for 95
percent of working families, 95 percent.



growth than the -- the
policies of President Bush that John McCain wants breaks to companies that are
investing here in the United States. John, nobody is denying that $18 spending
money unwisely.

of you will get a tax cut. of tax increase.

Now,
John mentioned the fact that business taxes on paper are high in this country,
and he's absolutely right. support of Senator McCain, that we actually see our
businesses pay effectively one of the lowest tax rates in the world.

additional tax cut over the loopholes. Just one last point I want to
make, since Senator McCain talked about
Here's the only problem:
profits, under your tax plan, John -- this is undeniable -- oil companies
We've got an emergency bill on the consequence of health care. We've got to
invest in science and technology.
We've got to make sure that
We've got
to eliminate programs that don't
foreign oil. need a scalpel. If we're lucky
and do it right, that
less tax revenue so there's no doubt that as president
I'm go doing have
John, it's been your president who
increase in
spending. Afghanistan.

Now Senator
McCain and President Bush had a
very different judgment.

We've spent over $600 billion so far,
government.

American people safe. Which point? explains, and as John
well knows, the issues of Afghanistan, the issues
Senator McCain is
absolutely right that the violence has been our military families.

job.
2007. You talk about the surge. The war started in 2003, and at the time all,
let's talk about this troop funding issue because John always brings
Senator
McCain cut -- Senator McCain opposed funding for troops timetable.

be
funding troops.

We need more troops there. Senator McCain, in the rush
to go into Iraq, said, you know what? We've bin Laden and crush al Qaeda.

any time since 2002. have said is we don't have the troops right now to
deal with Afghanistan.

in Afghanistan and in Pakistan.

troops.

actually working for their people. And I've said this to President
No. 3, we've got to deal with Pakistan, because al Qaeda and the Taliban
McCain, we've been giving them $10 billion over the last seven years,
Nobody talked about attacking Pakistan. United States has al Qaeda, bin
Laden, top-level lieutenants in our
Now, I think that's the right strategy;
I think that's the right policy.

Now, Senator McCain is also right that
it's difficult. We spent $10
Afghanistan.

That's going to change
when I'm president of the United States.

still sending out videotapes
and Senator McCain, nobody is talking about
Afghanistan because of that
decision.

happened in Afghanistan. At one point, while you were focused
on Iraq,
president, I will.

To deal with Iran.

Iraq was
Iran's mortal enemy. Senator McCain is absolutely right, we cannot tolerate a
nuclear Iran. It has not worked in Iran, it has not worked in North Korea. So
let's talk about this. There's a difference between preconditions and
preparation. President Bush recently sent a senior ambassador, Bill Burns, to
participate in talks with the Europeans around the issue of nuclear weapons.

Again, it may not work, but if it doesn't work, then we have
strengthened our ability to form alliances to impose the tough sanctions that
Senator McCain just mentioned.

Nobody's been talking about that, and
Senator McCain knows it. Nobody's talking about that.

One is nuclear
proliferation.

No, actually, I think Senator McCain and I agree for the
most part on these issues. Russia is in part resurgent and Putin is feeling
powerful because of petro-dollars, as Senator McCain mentioned.

That
means that we, as one of the biggest consumers of oil -- 25 percent of the
world's oil -- have to have an energy strategy not just to deal with Russia, but
to deal with many of the rogue states we've talked about, Iran, Venezuela.

Over 26 years, Senator McCain voted 23 times against alternative energy,
like solar, and wind, and biodiesel.

John?

I've got to make this
point, Jim.

All right, fair enough. Obviously, we've poured billions of
dollars into airport security. Al Qaeda is resurgent.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Book 01 Genesis

Original is from the Project Gutenberg Edition of the King James Bible. 65 more to go.

Autosummarized to 1%.

Man.

art thou?

Hast thou
thee.

01:003:017 And unto
Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the
dust thou art, and unto
dust shalt thou return.

LORD.

son:

man.

had done
unto him.

be unto his brethren.

land.

01:012:007 And the
LORD appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will
who appeared unto
him.

land.

done unto me? thy way.

thee.

thy
seed.

thee!

Abraham.

son.

son in
thou hast
magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me
father.

thou
done unto us? thou hast
born unto him.

born unto Abraham, mocking.

Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in
thee,
Hagar? unto thy brother Nahor;

thy dead.

a wife unto my son
Isaac.

son again unto the land from whence thou camest?

a wife
unto my son from thence.

Abraham.

unto my master.

ran
out unto the man, unto the well.

LORD.

thee; for unto thee, and
unto thy seed, I will give all these
Abraham thy father;

Beersheba
unto this day.

son, and said unto him, My son: and he said unto him,
Behold,
thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying,

command
thee.

younger son:

blesseth thee.

I am thy son, thy
firstborn Esau.

father? brother Jacob.

the tenth unto thee.

in unto her.

second son.

thee.

them not unto
Laban's cattle.

said unto thee, do.

father Isaac.

returned unto his place.

father Isaac, the LORD which saidst
unto me, Return unto thy
children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the
two
unto thyself.

lord unto Seir.

unto us:

sons of
Jacob.

Jacob.

peaceably unto him.

brother.

son.
God?

Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto
restore thee unto thy place: and thou shalt deliver Pharaoh's
than thou.

bare unto him.

done unto us?

01:042:029 And they came
unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan,
thee food:

brother?
ye spake unto me? son.

brother?

brethren.

father.

known unto his brethren.

unto me, tarry not:

near unto
me, thou, and thy children, and thy children's
Canaan unto Jacob their
father,

bare unto him.

them unto Pharaoh.

brethren are
come unto thee:

land? lands.

unto thee in the land of Egypt
before I came unto thee into
long unto this day,

hearken unto Israel
your father.

unto tribute.

spake unto him.

God?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

John McCain, Republican National Convention address

Full remarks from CBS News. Autosummarized to 10%.


No country ever had a greater cause than that. I'm very proud to have introduced
our next Vice President to the country. I don't work for a party. I don't work
for a special interest. I don't work for myself. I work for you.

I've
fought corruption, and it didn't matter if the culprits were Democrats or
Republicans. I've fought to get million dollar checks out of our elections. I've
fought lobbyists who stole from Indian tribes. I fought crooked deals in the
Pentagon. I fought tobacco companies and trial lawyers, drug companies and union
bosses.

I don't mind a good fight.

I fight for Americans. I
fight for you. Sue works three jobs to help pay the bills. Toni is a
schoolteacher, working toward her Master's Degree.

I fight for the
family of Matthew Stanley of Wolfboro, New Hampshire, who died serving our
country in Iraq.

I fight to restore the pride and principles of our
party. We were elected to change Washington, and we let Washington change us. We
lost their trust when rather than reform government, both parties made it
bigger. We're all God's children and we're all Americans. I will cut government
spending.

My tax cuts will create jobs.

Keeping taxes low helps
small businesses grow and create new jobs. Cutting the second highest business
tax rate in the world will help American companies compete and keep jobs from
moving overseas. Doubling the child tax exemption from $3500 to $7000 will
improve the lives of millions of American families. I know how the world works.

I'm running for President to keep the country I love safe, and prevent
other families from risking their loved ones in war as my family has. Senator
Obama does not.

I've been an imperfect servant of my country for many
years. Those men saved my life. I was my country's. My country saved me. My
country saved me, and I cannot forget it. Run for public office. Feed a hungry
child.

I'm going to fight for my cause every day as your President.
Fight with me. Fight with me.

Fight for what's right for our country.

Fight for the ideals and character of a free people.

Fight for
our children's future.

Fight for justice and opportunity for all.

Stand up to defend our country from its enemies. We're Americans, and we
never give up.

Thank you, and God Bless you.

Sarah Palin, Republican National Convention

Full remarks from International Herald Tribune. Autosummarized to 10%.


I accept the call to help our nominee for president to serve and defend America.

I accept the challenge of a tough fight in this election... against confident opponents ... at a crucial hour for our country.

And I accept the privilege of serving with a man who has come through much harder missions ... and met far graver challenges ... and knows how tough fights are won - the next president of the United States, John S. McCain.

My family is proud of both of them and of all the fine men and women serving the country in uniform. I grew up with those people.

I came to office promising to control spending - by request if possible and by veto if necessary.

Our state budget is under control.

If our state wanted a bridge, we'd build it ourselves. We need American energy resources, brought to you by American ingenuity, and produced by American workers. America needs more energy ... our opponent is against producing it.

The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes ... raise payroll taxes ... raise investment income taxes ... raise the death tax ... raise business taxes ... and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars. Our nominee doesn't run with the Washington herd.

He's a man who's there to serve his country, and not just his party.

There is only one man in this election who has ever really fought for you ... in places where winning means survival and defeat means death ... and that man is John McCain. For a lifetime, John McCain has inspired with his deeds.

Join our cause and help America elect a great man as the next president of the United States.

Thank you all, and may God bless America.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Barack Obama, Democratic National Convention address

Full remarks from CBS News. Autosummarized to 10%.


Tonight, more Americans are out of work and more are working harder for less.

Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and
Independents across this great land - enough! This moment - this election - is
our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. A nation of
whiners?


Now, I don’t believe that Senator McCain doesn’t care
what’s going on in the lives of Americans.

It’s not because John McCain
doesn’t care. It’s because John McCain doesn’t get it. Out of work? No health
care?

Well it’s time for them to own their failure. It’s time for us to
change America.

What is that promise?

Our government should work
for us, not against us.
Change means a tax code that doesn’t reward the
lobbyists who wrote it, but the American workers and small businesses who
deserve it.

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to
corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies
that create good jobs right here in America.

I will cut taxes - cut
taxes - for 95% of all working families. I’ll make it easier for the American
people to afford these new cars.

America, now is not the time for small
plans.

Now is the time to finally keep the promise of affordable,
accessible health care for every single American. If you have health care, my
plan will lower your premiums.

Now is the time to help families with
paid sick days and better family leave, because nobody in America should have to
choose between keeping their jobs and caring for a sick child or ailing parent.

Individual responsibility and mutual responsibility - that’s the essence
of America’s promise.

And just as we keep our keep our promise to the
next generation here at home, so must we keep America’s promise abroad. If John
McCain wants to follow George Bush with more tough talk and bad strategy, that
is his choice - but it is not the change we need. I love this country, and so do
you, and so does John McCain.

So I’ve got news for you, John McCain. We
all put our country first.

America, our work will not be easy. This too
is part of America’s promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the
strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort. When Washington
doesn’t work, all its promises seem empty. Change comes to Washington.

America, this is one of those moments. Because I’ve lived it.

That promise is our greatest inheritance. America, we cannot turn back.
America, we cannot turn back. Let us keep that promise - that American promise -
and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we
confess.

Thank you, God Bless you, and God Bless the United States of
America.

Joe Biden, Democratic National Convention address

Full remarks from CBS News. Autosummarized to 10%.


Yes, I accept your nomination to run and serve alongside our next President of
the United States of America, Barack Obama.

Barack Obama gets it. Like
many of us, Barack worked his way up. His is a great American story. Barack
Obama could have done anything after he graduated from college. It’s dignity.

Because Barack made that choice, 150,000 more children and parents have
health care in Illinois.

We have the power to change it. That’s Barack
Obama, and that’s what he will do for this country. He’ll change it.

John McCain is my friend.

Barack Obama will deliver that change.
Barack Obama will reform our tax code. He’ll cut taxes for 95 percent of the
American people who draw a paycheck. That’s the change we need. Barack Obama and
I will end this neglect.

Now, despite being complicit in this
catastrophic foreign policy, John McCain says Barack Obama isn’t ready to
protect our national security.

John McCain was wrong. Barack Obama was
right.

Again, John McCain was wrong. Barack Obama was right.

John McCain was wrong. Barack Obama was right.

Again and again,
on the most important national security issues of our time, John McCain was
wrong, and Barack Obama was proven right.

Our greatest presidents-from
Abraham Lincoln to Franklin Roosevelt to John Kennedy-they all challenged us to
embrace change. The American people are ready. Barack Obama is ready. This is
his time. This is our time. This is America’s time.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Cryptonomicon

This is what happens when Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon is fed through MS Word's AutoSummarizer when it's set to summarize to 1% of the original. I've read this novel a couple dozen times and I still had a hard time following this summarization.

Summary: 4,092 words in 921 sentences
Original document: 409,122 words in 26,046 sentences



Lawrence asked a couple of times. Time just blazed by. "All right," Randy says. Avi sighs. "Right. Randy laughs.

Avi continues. Randy pays no attention to it.

Avi says.

RANDALL LAWRENCE WATERHOUSE.

Avi said.

"I guess so," Randy said. Randy didn't call him on it, though. Randy said. "I believe you, Avi," Randy said. Avi didn't hear him, so Randy assumed that meant yes. Randy went back into the restaurant. Goto Dengo's waving to him.

Shaftoe runs over and snatches it. A nice souvenir for Bobby Shaftoe.

Shaftoe wasn't a boxer. Shaftoe hollers. "Well, goddamn," Bobby Shaftoe says. Shaftoe bites his tongue. "Private Shaftoe! Shaftoe says blurrily. From time to time they host academic conferences. Randy begins typing. Inside Randy's computer is a precise clock. Randy is trying to generate one that is ridiculously long. Randy rests his tired hand. To Randy Waterhouse, it sounded like the beginnings of a pretty cool game. Randy read some and skimmed all. By the time Randy extricated himself from this conversation, his mind was reeling. "Sir! Sir!" Randy Waterhouse is in merely decent physical condition. Randy signed on as the head technologist. Randy could see where it was going. Randy finished the thought. Randy said.

Randy walks to it, doggedly. Sir? Tiny comets of pee strike Randy's pant legs. Randy always wears long pants no matter how hot it is.

Sometimes Randy walks along the top of the Spanish wall. "What's on your mind, Randy?"

"Lines of sight," Randy says.

"Long story. Shaftoe blacks out.

Shaftoe needs morphine. Shaftoe screams. "We have five minutes," Randy says.

"Randy Waterhouse," he says.

Amy Shaftoe," she says. Amy walks past Randy a couple of times, but avoids looking him in the eye. "Thanks for giving me the ride," Randy says.

Randy asks.

Randy infers that looking at big rusty boats is more interesting than talking to Randy.

Randy's a little nonplussed. Randy tries to be careful.

Randy sips his coffee. Randy hits the fast-forward. "Okay, good," Randy says, a little off balance. "Right."

Shaftoe says.

Something big descends towards Shaftoe. Shaftoe doesn't have to think very long. Shaftoe yells. Shaftoe's body is saturated with morphine. Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe says. "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! Shaftoe says.

"Sir! Shaftoe begins.

"Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! "Sir! Do you follow me, Shaftoe?"

"Sir! An Annapolis man. Very good men. "Sir! Waterhouse says.

"I understand, sir," Waterhouse says.

"Clearly," Waterhouse says.

Waterhouse says. Randy's in no hurry to expose himself. Randy follow's her. Randy asks. Randy asks, looking at the photograph.

Randy hunches over and peers at it. Randy's nonplussed. Gold. "Thanks for the tour," Randy says. Randy says. "Why are you in business, Randy?" "Rui Faleiro was Magellan's cosmographer," Randy says.

"The brains of the operation," Randy says, tapping his head.

Doctor Kepler," Randy says. "Yes," Randy says cautiously.

Randy shook his head in disgust and amazement. "Never mind. Randy said. Right?"

"Right."

Avi said. "Sex is more complicated than that, Randy. "Randy," he says. Medals clink together as he grips Randy's right hand and shakes it. "Don't be deceived, Randy," says Douglas MacArthur Shaftoe, "I'm not on active duty. Doug Shaftoe nods impassively. "Okay," Randy says. "Ah," Randy says. "Hmmmm," Randy says. "On one condition," Doug Shaftoe says.

Randy asks.

Waterhouse likes trains.

"Captain Waterhouse? "2702," Waterhouse says.

Waterhouse swallows. Waterhouse blurts. Shaftoe barges past him and heads straight for the building's exit, ignoring Ethridge's queries: "Shaftoe? Shaftoe opens his eyes and looks around.

"Blond," Shaftoe says.

"Blue-eyed."

"Sir! "Sir! Sir!"

Shaftoe says. "Sir! "Sir! "Twenty-six, sir!" responds Shaftoe crisply.

"Sir! Shaftoe says to Private Nathan.

Shaftoe clarifies. Shaftoe says. Bobby Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe hefts it and whistles. The chastened Shaftoe sets about his work. "Deal," Shaftoe says.

"I guess so," Shaftoe grumbles. Bobby Shaftoe asks.

Shaftoe shrugs. "Right! Shaftoe says.

For the first time, Shaftoe hazards movement. Shaftoe asks.

Shaftoe says. Shaftoe hears distant pocking noises. Root glances up and locks eyes with Shaftoe. Shaftoe holds his gaze for a long moment. Shaftoe nods imperceptibly, and Root's gaze softens.

Shaftoe nods. "Yeah," Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe glances away and nods. "Finux," Avi mumbles, answering Randy's unspoken question.

Randy types "Finux" and hits the return key. Randy says.

Randy raises his eyebrows.

"Those look new," Randy says. The sixth was Randy's Second Business Foray. Avi says. Randy breaks in. "We've already established a foothold there. Randy watches them squint and tilt their heads from side to side. Avi says. Randy does Internet, Eb does weird stuff, Beryl does money. Avi's nodding. Avi says. Waterhouse knows this perfectly well. Lawrence Waterhouse."

Waterhouse hands him the magic pass. "Right. "Howdy," Waterhouse says.

"If only we could!" Waterhouse says. Randy blurts, annoyed with himself. Both men laugh. "No," Randy answers. Goto fires back.

Goto says. Randy hesitates. Goto understands. "Leave me a message," Randy says. "Ministry of Information," Randy says.

Randy trails his hand along the wall. Randy says.

"Interlibrary loan," Randy says.

Randy begins to descend the steps.

Randy looks nervously at the ceiling. Randy asks. Tom says, laughing at the expression on Randy's face.

"Heavy, heavy deja vu," Randy says. "Yeah," Randy says, "I've seen this before."

"Where?"

Actually, Shaftoe doesn't mind this mission. Shaftoe is a grunt, and understands.

Bobby Shaftoe holsters his revolver. "Fuck me," Shaftoe exclaims.

If only Alan were here!

"Ma'am," Waterhouse says. Waterhouse turns to look at her. Waterhouse smiles. "Quite right, actually," Waterhouse says.

Waterhouse asks. Eventually the information reaches Randy's computer, which spews noise back. Randy declines to answer those messages just now.

To: randy@tombstone.epiphyte.com

Randy closes that one without responding. Randy opens up a terminal window and types

Scrolling down, Randy finds:

The key is stored on Randy's hard disk. The last time Randy changed his pass phrase, he was reading another World War II memoir. Nothing works.

Both men laugh.

Randy says, "You're looking encouragingly pale."

Randy laughs. So Randy decides to play devil's advocate. "Maybe it's in the business plan?" ventures Randy.

A year ago," admits Randy.

Randy changes the subject. My job's pretty simple," Randy says. Randy pauses and swigs Guinness, building the drama. Randy says. Randy considers it. Cantrell raises his eyebrows, a little worried about Randy's feelings. "It's true," Randy says. Randy says.

Randy asks.

"Well, at least he got something right," Randy says. If it's not moving, it's not working. Waterhouse says.

It swings five times, ten times, twenty. Waterhouse stands as if his feet were planted in mortar. Waterhouse says hopelessly.

Is it all right if I call you Lawrence?" Waterhouse essays.

"Well. "Lawrence? Shaftoe likes the sound of this. "Shaftoe! Shaftoe looks blank.

Shaftoe says, a little less certainly. Shaftoe looks at the crates. Shaftoe says indignantly.

Look, Shaftoe! Look! Shaftoe says. "Okay," Shaftoe said to the men. Many strafings have turned Bobby Shaftoe into a big flincher. "Sergeant Shaftoe!" says Root peremptorily. Shaftoe straightens up reflexively.

"Lieutenant Root!" Shaftoe is startled by this. "Fuck off," Shaftoe says.

"Absolutely," Shaftoe says.

"Sergeant Shaftoe? Monkberg's turn. Shaftoe asks.

Right?"

"Right!" Shaftoe says.

"Lieutenant Root?" Shaftoe says.

"Yes, Sergeant Shaftoe?"

Root looks up into Shaftoe's eyes. Sergeant Shaftoe says.

"What is it now, Shaftoe?" Shaftoe says. "Sergeant Shaftoe!" Shaftoe returns.

Root insists.

"We are," Randy says.

"You're talking shareholderese," Randy warns.

Randy and John Cantrell exchange a look.

Randy says, getting to his feet.

Randy holds up his hands, palms out, in surrender.

An image from the Cold War comes into Randy's head. Eb looks slightly pained by Randy's simple-mindedness. Avi has known Randy forever, and knows that Randy won't really be bothered by what is to come.

All eyes turn towards Randy, and Beryl picks up the thread. "I accept that," Randy says. Randy says, "I was afraid of that."

Finally Randy stands, and holds out his hands as if warding them off. Clever Avi! "Okay," Randy says. Avi says.

Randy asks.

"Oh, shit," Randy says.

"I don't think so," Randy says. "Got it," Randy says, and zips up. Waterhouse says puckishly. Shaftoe follows a few moments later.

Sergeant Shaftoe says. German. Then Shaftoe turns and leaves Waterhouse alone in the cabin.

Sergeant Shaftoe says. The problem is with Bobby Shaftoe's brain.

Shaftoe hollers. Shaftoe turns right. Shaftoe smells electricity. Dear Randy,

"Good morning, Mr. Waterhouse! Randy counts three women and two men. Randy asks.

Avi says. All eyes turn to Randy. Randy blurts.

Avi says. Randy asks.

I don't remember," Randy says. "Not to worry," Randy says, "I jammed it."

Eb asks, not catching the irony in Randy's voice. "I was joking," Randy explains. Encrypted messages," Waterhouse says. "Breaking the code, Waterhouse?" "Waterhouse! Waterhouse asks blankly. Waterhouse says. "No," Waterhouse says. "Well! Randy scoffs. "I'm impressed," Randy says. Now Randy is starting to remember this guy. "Probably both," Randy guesses. Randy bends and looks too. Randy pulls his chair back and falls into it. Randy looks at Cantrell, who's nodding slyly.

Randy can't believe he's hearing this. Randy knows several people who worked and studied with him during those years. Randy's attention wanders. Randy begins looking around the table.

As usual, Randy cannot remember his name. Goto Dengo looks away.

This time Goto Dengo watches it carefully. Like Shaftoe. Kepler's just as surprised as Randy. What can Randy do right now to enhance shareholder value? Randy doesn't have to write that stuff. Randy fires up the software. "Yeah," Randy lies.

Kepler turns around and gives Randy a searching look. Can we compete against them, Randy?"

Waterhouse says.

Waterhouse is not offended. Randy opens the door. "You got that right," Randy says. "Oh," Randy says, "Tom Howard's room is right next door?"

Randy asks.

Randy's heard of this product. Randy asks, and Cantrell says, "Yes," without even turning around. Randy clicks on RIST 9E03 and gets

Randy uses it.

Randy says.

Randy asks.

By the time Goto Dengo reaches him, he is stone dead.

Goto Dengo falls off the house.

wonders Shaftoe. Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe asks. Shaftoe asks Root.

"Lieutenant Enoch Root."

"We need a new category," Randy said. Randy,

Randy asks.

Randy.

Randy figures there's no better time to ask this question. Randy says.

"Dilemma," Randy says.

"Right. Randy asks Tom Howard.

Randy asks.

At the same time Randy grins, he senses someone's stare. So Randy stares right back into Prag's black eyes, and grins. Avi sighs. Randy says.

Everyone looks at Randy. "Just an educated guess," Randy says, shaking his head. "Randy's right," Avi says. Randy asks.

D├Ânitz: Nice work, Bischoff! "The Holocaust," Randy says dutifully.

Randy asks.

The Aztecs can go fuck themselves, Randy! You know what those fucking Aztecs did, Randy?"

Randy uses his hands to squeegee away sweat from his face. "Avi?"

Avi scoffs. "Human nature doesn't change, Randy. Randy sits and ponders for a while. I haven't even started," Randy says.

Avi blinks. Randy says testily, meaning Yes, of course. "I got e-mail from Doug Shaftoe a few days ago," Randy says. "No, no, no," Randy says. Same basic idea," Randy says. Randy keeps talking. Doug Shaftoe is one of those people. "Right. "Right. "I assumed wrong," Randy admits. Avi says.

On personal honor," Randy says. "Damn, Randy! "The answer can only be Douglas MacArthur Shaftoe," Randy says. Shaftoe is lost now. "Fuck you," Shaftoe says.

"Good work. Root suggests.

Shaftoe says.

The man rolls over, exposing his back to Shaftoe. Shaftoe mulls it over. Shaftoe's desperate. Gold. "Not petty cash," Shaftoe says. For god's sake, Shaftoe! Long silence.

Shaftoe shouts. Fuck you and your mother if I did," Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe asks.

Shaftoe hears the word morphium several times. First, Shaftoe addresses Bischoff. "Shoot," Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe's never felt better. "Shit," Shaftoe says.

Bischoff

Big deal. Shaftoe shrugs. Shaftoe chuckles delightedly. It doesn't work. From: randy@epiphyte.com

Randall Lawrence Waterhouse

To: randy@epiphyte.com

Randy.

Randy asks. Noting Randy's interest, Doug Shaftoe squats alongside it to point out the features. "Clear!" shouts Amy Shaftoe, sounding rather impatient.

Randy says.

Randy's calculator watch beeps twice. "Randy?" Randy is speechless for a while.

"Right. Doug and Randy look at the TV screen. A bomber," Randy says. "Looks pretty crusty," Randy says.

Randy says.

"Why isn't it lying flat, Randy?"

"My god," says Douglas MacArthur Shaftoe. "Well, here's to it," Randy says.

Goto Dengo says.

"Oh," Goto Dengo says.

Goto Dengo shouts back.

"Thank you," Goto Dengo says. "I'll chop more," Shaftoe says. "Manila," Bobby Shaftoe says, "if she's even still alive."

Now Bobby Shaftoe is dead for sure. Why doesn't Randy have a diving plan?

To: randy@epiphyte.com

Randy,

To: randy@epiphyte.com

"Randy?" says Doug Shaftoe, and beckons him into his wardroom.

Randy checks them out. Randy bends over and peers at it. Randy asks, wiggling his fingers into the gloves.

WATERHOUSE LAVENDER ROSE.


"No doubt," Waterhouse says.

"Right."

Waterhouse asks.


Shaftoe says. "Gold," says Shaftoe, quietly.

"Right!" Randy goes into his living room with it. Now, with a flake-type of cereal, Randy's strategy would never work. To: randy@epiphyte.com

Randy,

Dear Randy,

Randy shrugs. "Was your grandfather a crypto guy, Randy?" Randy is really racking his brain now. Waterhouse gets a tour. Shaftoe covers his face. Waterhouse. Shaftoe asks. Shaftoe says. Shaftoe asks.

Sergeant Shaftoe can be--"

Shaftoe snorts. Root freezes.

Shaftoe says. Randall Lawrence Waterhouse

Randall Lawrence Waterhouse

Shaftoe can't believe himself. Shaftoe recognizes him, and he recognizes Shaftoe, at the same moment. Shaftoe says. Shaftoe asks again. Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe can't imagine worse.

"Germans. German."

Shaftoe hollers disgustedly. "Okay," Shaftoe mutters.

Shaftoe continues. "Right." "I understand," Shaftoe says. Root exclaims. Shaftoe's pretty good at foresight. "God will know," Shaftoe says.

"Let's go, then," Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe consults the instructions. Shaftoe kills him. "Right," Shaftoe says, and leaves the room.

"Display some fucking adaptability," Shaftoe says. "Manila!?"

Waterhouse seeks happiness. Big room. Finally, Waterhouse places that accent. Waterhouse nods. Waterhouse looks; it's Mary. Waterhouse nods.

Goto Dengo tries again:

Time to change the subject. "Yes, it does," Randy says.

Avi asks.

Randy asks.

"Right."

"We are bankers," Randy says. "Gold? "Well. Consider it a cry for help," Randy says. Avi stops and straightens, as if pulled up short. Amy Shaftoe."

"It all hangs together," Randy says.

Yeah," Randy says.

"Thank you, Randy."

Randy opens his eyes from out of a sliding nightmare. Randy laughs. Randy laughs with surprising heartiness.

"If I'd known--Jesus. "Well . . ."

Right?"

"Absolutely right. Randy sighs.

Randy can do nothing but roll his eyes. Randy feels quizzical and mildly irritated. "Never mind."

Randy says reasonably.

Randy sighs.

"Chow time!"

Randy!" says America Shaftoe. Randy asks. Lieutenant Goto bows. Goto Dengo says. COMPUTER

"Assertions," Waterhouse says. "Correction, Waterhouse," Comstock says. Waterhouse says. Waterhouse shrugs. Running over people's feet. Waterhouse looks a little defensive. Waterhouse asks.

Waterhouse asks.

Waterhouse says brightly. "The RAM," Waterhouse says. Waterhouse says. "Hmmm," Waterhouse says. Waterhouse asks brightly.

I'll show it to you," Randy says. Randy says, not getting this last bit.

To Randy it's just been aimless ventilating. Randy still has some money. "How long?"

Randy, my family sticks together. "Amy, Amy. "The Shaftoe mailing list."

Randy says, slapping himself in the face. "So tell me about your family, Randy."

"What's an electronic banknote look like, Randy?"

"Not if you have good crypto," Randy says. Randy laughs. Randy demands.

Shaftoe starts tailing flyboys. "It's a trick question," Shaftoe says. Shaftoe says.

Shaftoe swallows hard and thinks fast. Shaftoe flinches.

Shaftoe guns it across the runway. Shaftoe falters. Shaftoe swings wide around it. "All right, back up the hill, Shaftoe!"

Shaftoe's a bit off balance now. "Go there, Bobby Shaftoe!" says The General. Randy nods almost imperceptibly. "It is actually shockingly difficult," Randy says. "That has no impact mathematically," Randy whispers.

Randy nears the steamed-up Impala. Randy rejoins his aunt at the Origin. High-tech is a small town," Randy says.

Robin Shaftoe is already running towards them. Aunt Nina says, "How about you, Randy? Goto Dengo gawks. Goto Dengo grins. Goto Dengo turns to see if Ninomiya is joking. "Of course he would," Randy says.

"I am sorry if I make you feel bad sometimes," Randy says. Randy gets embarrassed.

Randy catches his eye and asks, "Chester?"

"Hey, Randy."

"Amy hasn't seen the articles," Randy says.

"Oh! Randy and Amy follow Chester into his house. Randy already knows what it is. "It's like a resource to them," Randy guesses.

"Hai!" answers Goto Dengo. Goto Dengo turns on some electric lights as well. To: randy@epiphyte.com

Randy.

"I doubt it," Randy says. Gives me the creeps," Randy says. "Gollum," Randy says.

Avi says.

Avi laughs.

Randy says. "Oh, come on, Randy. Randy says. Randy says. "Oh, Randy, it's not about that. Randy throws back his head and laughs.

Because we are badass, Randy. Avi nods.

"Right. Randy grins. Randy nods. "That works. Randy asks.

"If I do, it's encrypted."

Avi asks. Randy says.

Randy's nodding. "The most cigarettes," Randy says. Randy notices that his stride is longer now. "I detect some resentment in your voice, Randy."

Right?"

"Right. No paper trail there," Randy says. "Never?"

"Never. "I'm against it," Randy says. "It almost certainly is," Randy says. "Avi, it's full of fucking gold bars," Randy says.

Avi says. "It is make-or-break," Randy agrees.

"Hi, Avi? "Hi, Avi? "Randy, get this through your head. Goto Dengo says. Waste of time!"

"Orders," Goto Dengo says. Goto Dengo says. Randy barely has time to read the bumper sticker: MEAN PEOPLE SUCK.

Randy opens a terminal window and types

A bunch of junk scrolls up Randy's screen. Randy truncates the commercial message with the whack of a key, and logs in as Randy. Besides, time is running low. Randy shouts.

Bruce falters and looks over in Randy's direction. "Randy," he says.

Randy types:

randy

Randy looks over toward the old van. Randy sighs. "We're going to Israel, Randy. So Randy dials the number for Douglas MacArthur Shaftoe's GSM telephone. "It's Randy. On a plane," says Randy. "Randy! Nothing at all," Randy says. "What troubles are those, Randy?"

Randy is certain he's never heard this voice before. The man laughs. "You should be a billionaire, Randy. "Well done, Randy."

"It's true," Randy says. Randy cannot even remember ever uttering the word "Arethusa." "Chester's got this retired ETC engineer working on his card machinery," Randy says. Called me from the cellphone on his boat, Randy."

"Why? Randy says, kind of awed. "You're welcome, Randy. Bobby Shaftoe sheds his sandals. Douglas MacArthur Shaftoe."

Shaftoe asks. "Good to see you, John," Randy says.

"You too, Randy," John says, and each man averts his eyes shyly.

Randy stops. "Oh, that's great," Randy says. Randy asks.

Randy asks.

Right?"

The question sounds a little querulous to Randy. Randy: (1) Lawsuit & whether Epiphyte can continue to exist. Ordo computer room door.

"Wow," Randy says. Good evening, Randy."

Randy asks Tom.

"Nice job, Randy." He lumbers forward and shakes Randy's hand. "Let's talk out here," Randy says. Randy changes the subject. Doug looks up and eyes Randy carefully. Randy senses everyone's looking at him. Randy wonders.

Right?"

"Right!" Right?" "Right. "I have bad news," Randy says. You can do this," Randy says. "Randy!" Randy jokes.

Right?"

"Right."

"I have no idea," Randy says.

Randy snorts. "Ho-ly shit," Randy says.

Randy takes a long, deep breath. Goto Dengo nods. Randy steps into the lane. Randy shrugs. That pocket was empty," Randy says.

Shaftoe grins appreciatively. Shaftoe's head is clearing now. Shaftoe snorts. Someone hands Shaftoe a cigarette, already lit. Then, Shaftoe remembers. Shaftoe says. Shaftoe says. Shaftoe asks him. Randy's ready for it. Attorney Alejandro decides to act as if Randy has never made this last comment. Randy's feeling better already.

"I can't imagine," Randy says.

Randy says. Randy says.

"I hear you," Randy says. "Let me ask you this," Randy says. "I didn't think so," says Randy. "Avi?"

Randy says.

"No! Randy demands.

Randy mutters. No dress this time. It's all a part of you, Randy. Shaftoe risks rising to a crouch. Shaftoe looks up. Goto Dengo says. "Fuck that," Shaftoe says. Right?"

Shaftoe says. Goto Dengo says. Shaftoe says. "Shaftoe. . . Shaftoe! SHAFTOE!" he says.

"Pardon my manners, sir," Shaftoe says, turning sideways. "Sir, my friend Goto Dengo. "Shaftoe will get us there. Goto Dengo says. Shaftoe finds MacArthur and Goto Dengo first, and excuses himself. "I understand that, sir," Shaftoe says.

"I'll be right back," Shaftoe says.

"Where are you going, Shaftoe?"

Randy said. Randy mumbled through cotton.

The filing cabinet is evidently meant to serve as Randy's work table. Randy fires up the laptop just to prove that it still works. "Randy Waterhouse," he says.

Randy echoes, feeling and probably sounding rather stupid.

"Fifty-four," Randy muses. Shaftoe hollers. Bobby Shaftoe has landed. "Randy."

"Thank you," Randy says. Randy asks.

Randy guesses he's intended to play stupid. Enoch Root nods. Root nods. Randy pretends to daub sauce off his beard.

"Greater love hath no man," Randy says. "I was sure that you would, Randy."

Randy asks.

Randy asks, squinting.

"I was trained as an astronomer," Randy says. Randy asks.

How does that work, Randy?"

"Let's face it, Randy, we've all known guys like Ares. "Oh, come now, Randy! Randy doesn't.

WATERHOUSE, perhaps. "Australian currency," Waterhouse says.

"If the Nips had won..." Waterhouse says, and shrugs. So Randy does that. "Oh, Randy, you know what I mean."

Randy asks, kind of rhetorically. Just stop," Randy says. "Obviously," Randy says.

Randy arches his back and stretches. Consequently Wing knows that Randy has Arethusa. Waterhouse replaces them. Waterhouse does. Randy goes back to work with the pencil eraser. "Tell me about wires," Randy says.

"Of course I do," Randy says. "That it's like nuclear war," Randy says. Avi says. Light dawns in Randy's mind. "The world doesn't work that way anymore, Randy. Avi shrugs. Avi shrugs. Randy blurts. "Wing's digging for gold in Bundok," Randy says. Avi says. Randy asks.

"I'm with you," Randy says. "What old man?"

"Right! "Rudy's system?"

Time's up. "How did Shaftoe die?"

GOTO-SAMA

Avi meets Randy in the hotel lobby. There's a brief exchange of small talk that goes right over Randy's head. Randy and Avi get the girl menus, with no prices. Avi asks.

Much time. "A hole," Randy ventures, after much uncomfortableness.

Goto Dengo chuckles. Randy says. Randy says, "Goto Engineering is a distinguished company. Avi grins. "If I may," Avi says. "Better than that," Randy says. "Yes," Randy says.

Goto Dengo starts writing. Randy holds out his card, numbers facing down, and Goto Dengo holds out his. Randy cups Goto-sama's card in his palm and turns it into the light. Finally Avi says something that Randy doesn't hear. Randy shrugs. "Everyone doesn't know," Randy says. Randy and Avi look into their cups. Randy and Avi do--a bit nervously. "It's stupid," Randy says.

Goto Dengo nods solemnly. Goto Dengo raises his eyebrows. It's the deepest bow Randy's ever seen. Goto Dengo turns his head to look into Root's eyes. Goto Dengo asks.

Goto Dengo asks. Goto Dengo shudders. Goto Dengo shakes his head. Goto Dengo says, "Educated men created this cemetery."

Goto Dengo sighs. Enoch Root stares mercilessly into Goto Dengo's tormented face. Randy wonders if they could have done this any more conspicuously. Randy smokes a cigarette. "Close the door," Amy says, and Randy does. Randy's life is essentially complete at the moment. Randy's toe knuckles pop audibly. Nothing more," Randy says.

"Well--"

"I know where we are going, Randy." Randy asks kind of hotly.

"Goto Dengo told me."

Doug Shaftoe's laughing. Randy says.

Doug Shaftoe says, "You're right. Randy says, "This is it." Waterhouse is their enemy.

Waterhouse exclaims. Waterhouse asks.

Waterhouse laughs.

Waterhouse jokes.

"Lawrence!" Waterhouse laughs. Randy involuntarily looks towards Amy. "Well, I should hope so," Randy says. "Big. "Randy, don't do that," says Doug Shaftoe. "Amy's been shot with an arrow," Randy says.

Amy shows Randy the palm of one hand. "I love you," Randy says. "Oh, Jesus Christ," Doug Shaftoe says. "It wasn't fired by a Huk," Randy says. Finally, Randy's there. Randy says. "Not one of your better ideas, Randy!" Enoch Root ignores him, squats down at Randy's feet and begins probing.

Randy turns around and looks at Amy. Something's moving in the corner of Randy's eye. "Right. Waterhouse shrugs it off. For the first time, now, Waterhouse gets it. Waterhouse chuckles. Waterhouse shrugs. Goto Dengo blanches. "Only if they decrypt those old messages," Waterhouse says.

"Only if they have them," Waterhouse says.

Goto Dengo is shocked, horrified. "Rudy? Rudy?"